In the stables

[smallestopener]

Ingress has been helping out in the stables every now and again. Today is one of her days.

She walks in to find Susan, her notebook and pencil in hand and her press badge proudly displayed on her jumper.

"Hi, Susan! Can I sweep the hay?"

Ingress likes sweeping.

Comments

[smallestopener]

"Maybe I can brush down one of the horses."

She looks down the stalls, spying the thestral.

"But not that one."

Ingress rarely gets frightened anymore, especially over something on four hooves. The thestral unnerves her. Tom very carefully and seriously told her more about them - what they were and who could see them. He said thestrals weren't bad creatures - but this one makes Ingress feel funny and uncertain.

[sai_delgado]

Susan follows her glance, and her smile vanishes as she realizes.

(my mummy and daddy and Arch were killed by bad men)

"I didn't think..." She crouches down by the little girl, sitting back on her heels, and says gently,

"Thee can see him, aye?"

[smallestopener]

She nods her head gravely.

"Only people who've seen someone die can. That's what Tom said."

She looks up at Susan.

"Did you see your mummy die, too?"

[sai_delgado]

"Yer Tom's right, I wot, but--"

(oh Dave I'm sorry)

Susan shakes her head. "It weren't-- I didn't see my ma' move on, Ingress."

(Olive lying in the red-blood dust of the road)

"It were-- it were someone else, for me-- but I can see him too. It's why I can help care for him."

(charyou tree)

Softly, she adds, "It were yer ma', that ye saw? Do'ee want to tell me, dear? Ye don't have to, if thee don't."

[smallestopener]

Ingress shrugs and picks up her notebook.

"I told Door and Megwyn. I don't like telling about it much. It was scary."

She writes names on the page with her pencil - Portia, Portico, Arch.

"I miss her. And Daddy and Arch."

[sai_delgado]

"Of course thee do," says Pat Delgado's daughter, softly still. One hand goes out, lightly brushing over Ingress's bright hair in a brief, gentle touch of comfort.

"Thee always will, a little." She's so young, Susan thinks, younger even than she herself had been that horrible day when word came to the house.

(an accident - Ocean Foam)

"It's all right, to miss them -- but they'd want ye to be happy still, now. And thee'll see them again someday, in the clearing."

[smallestopener]

Ingress hugs Susan, smiling.

"I am happy. I just miss them. But Door says they've gone under the Arch and we'll see them again one day. You'll get to see all the people you miss, too, when you die. But that's not for a long, long, long time."

In all their time at Milliways, Tom and Door haven't really broached the subject of dead patrons. It's one of those topics that isn't an easy one to explain to a young child.

[sai_delgado]

Not easy at all, say true.

(not for a long, long time)

Susan hugs the little girl back, holding her tightly and blinking back sudden tears. Ever honest in all the ways that mattered, in life and after, still she knows that she could lie to Ingress about this and be believed. And she knows, or believes, that it'd be wrong to do so, especially here at Milliways, especially now. Young Ingress may be, but she's seen and learned hard things already, oh aye.

(neither heart nor mind - oh but ka is cruel)

Susan sighs and lets go, then drops out of her crouched position to sit cross-legged on the stable floor, looking steadily at Ingress.

"Ingress-soh." It's quiet and serious, nearly grave. "I've-- ye've the right of it, aye-- ye do get to see those ye miss, say true, under the Arch as Door says, or in the clearing at the end of the path, as we've known it in the world I came from, do'ee ken? They move on, to a place where there's peace--"

(the peace of the clearing)

"--and ye'll see them again in time, when it's time."

"But-- but for some, there's a stop first. A-- a way-station, before the clearing. Here-- Milliways-- it's like that, for some."

[smallestopener]

Ingress cocks her head, puzzled.

"But everybody's alive at Milliways. Dead people don't move. Like Charlie - he died and he didn't move and he had to go in the ground. Tom said. But then he was alive again and he let me hold Seth."

[sai_delgado]

"Aye, and Seth's a dear berry indeed," Susan says softly. "And Charlie-- I don't-- I couldn't explain, dear, say true, but--"

"I know ye ken magic, aye?" She reaches out to gently tug on a lock of blue hair, and then lets go again, looking steadily at Ingress. "Milliways-- there's magic here, and more than. It's a special place, of itself. And that's-- that's why there are those here whose time has moved on. Who have-- who have died, but who are almost alive here, do'ee ken? Who look and sound alive, who have hearts that beat, and who move-- who are almost alive, very near indeed."

A hesitant, careful breath, and yet she doesn't look away from the little girl as she says very gently,

"I'm one of them."

[smallestopener]

Ingress is not upset by this news. Children understand things without question that adults would be horrified by. She is merely puzzled and perhaps a bit concerned.

"But if you died, everyone who missed you will be looking for you. Like Mummy and Daddy and Arch would be looking for me."

[sai_delgado]

(everyone who missed you)

She won't think about it, can't let herself think about what it must have been like for them in the days just after she burned-- for Roland who loved her, and Cuthbert,

(Roland's love is my love)

and Alain. She can't dwell on what came after, either--

(Jericho Hill)

--years of loss and pain and grief like a stone at the center of things. She turns her mind instead to another place, remembering the words of an angel, and finds comfort in them as she tries to explain.

"Oh, Ingress," she says. "Nay, it's not-- it's not like that, in the clearing. It's-- those who have gone ahead, they remember, say true, but they're not worried. There's naught but peace there, and joy--"

And oh, but her words are soft and certain, and hold the faintest hint of a wistful longing that she'll not admit to herself, even as she continues,

"--and they're content to wait, because they know that someday we'll all be together again, there in the clearing."

(no secrets between souls)

[smallestopener]

Ingress smiles.

"It's a nice place. I bet they have ice cream there, too. All the ice cream you could ever eat!"

[sai_delgado]

Susan laughs softly and reaches out to hug her, saying,

"I'd not doubt it, Ingress-soh, never in life."

[smallestopener]

Ingress hugs back, grinning. Then she frowns slightly and doesn't let go.

"You'll have to go there sometime, though, won't you? Everyone here will miss you. We'll be sad if you go away, even if you get all the ice cream you can eat."

[sai_delgado]

Still sitting there on the floor of the stable, Susan shifts slightly in order to settle Ingress in her lap, nestled in the curve of her arm.

"I know thee will, dear." She presses a gentle kiss to the top of the little girl's head and then continues, gently, "I ken it very well indeed, say true."

"But-- but I can't stay here forever. None of us can, do'ee ken? My-- my time's moved on, and eventually--"

(the peace of the clearing)

"--eventually I'll move on as well. I'll have to."

[smallestopener]

She snuggles in - Ingress never refuses snuggling.

"Door says she never wants Tom to go away. Cuthbert won't want you to go away either."

[sai_delgado]

Susan simply closes her eyes and holds Ingress tightly for several moments.

"Cuthbert-- he's--" A quick breath, and a silent prayer to her father's memory.

Help me, da', she thinks. Help me find the words.

"'Bert's like me, dear. His time has moved on, too, do'ee ken? And-- and Alain, and Eddie as well."

So many of them. Ka is cruel, oh aye.

[smallestopener]

Ingress blinks in surprise.

"Are you sure? That's a lot of people."

[sai_delgado]

"I'm sure," she says softly.

(Jericho Hill - Blue Heaven)

"It's-- I've told ye our world moved on, aye? There were-- there were a war. And many and many a person can die, when there's war."

[smallestopener]

She takes this all in and finally nods. The Underside is a violent place, and she is of that world, young though she may be. Death comes whether you will it or not. She's seen this firsthand, even if she has no words yet to express her feelings.

"You don't have to go today though. Or tomorrow?"

[sai_delgado]

"Nay, dear," she says quietly, with a quick gasp that may be a half-laugh. "Not-- not nearly that soon, say true."

Susan doesn't know when, in fact. All she knows is that the deep longing for

(the peace of the clearing)

peace, and quiet, and the bright joy that she'd felt in Aslan's Country is slowly growing.

"And with that in mind, mayhap we'd best get to taking care of the horses, do'ee ken? They can't brush themselves."

[smallestopener]

"Okay."

She jumps up, her usual Ingress self.

"Are you scared of the thestral?"

[sai_delgado]

Susan gets to her feet, brushing straw off her jeans, and shakes her head.

"Nay-- it were only getting used to him, but he's a creature with his own needs, like any horse." A pause, looking down at her. "Are thee?"

[smallestopener]

"I don't know. Does he need brushing down, too?"

[sai_delgado]

"His skin is like a lizard's, or mayhap a snake's-- all soft scales," Susan tells her. "There's a soft cloth that I use to groom him with, instead of using a brush."

[smallestopener]

"I like snakes."

She looks uncertain, but determined. This is the little girl who will be a Herald one day.

"Does he need grooming?"

[sai_delgado]

"Aye, but mayhap not right now," Susan tells her. "It's something I can do later, say true, and we've plenty of other horses."

[smallestopener]

"I'm not scared of him."

She smiles.

"But I'll help the other horses first."

[sai_delgado]

"That'll do well, Ingress, say true."

She smiles back, and then watches as Ingress scampers off to get her brushes -- made carefully to fit a child's hand and kept here for her use. As the little girl begins to groom gentle Melina, Susan's gaze turns distant and mayhap thoughtful.

(you don't have to go today though - or tomorrow)

It's not time yet. She's certain of that still, a deep inner certainty that she can't deny-- and doesn't want to.

(you feel it in your bones)

But Susan Allgood knows as well that the season is changing. It's fin de año, that time in Mejis which signaled the harvest and the end of the year--and which for her had meant the end of other things, as well. She's deeply afraid that it might again, say true.

(Come, Reap)

With a quiet sigh, Susan shakes her head as though to clear it of worrisome thoughts, and then goes to join Ingress, smiling.